Reexamining relationships

Often as the seasons begin to change, people do as well. They begin to reexamine relationships. One word of caution: Do not bother to reexamine your relationship unless you are willing to (A) include your own self-assessment in your examination and find out what you want and (B) willing to stand by your decisions.

Do not be the person who digs up his or her yard to install a pool before calling the pool company. Do not put the cart before the horse or you will end up backing down and apologizing and doubting yourself.

Know thyself first before examining anyone or anything else. You may have changed over time.

Amplify’d from yahoo.match.com
Essentially, men date the wrong women for many of the same reasons women date the wrong men: external pressure from their friends and family, loneliness and insecurity, believing that he can fix any faults she might have. However, after talking to several men who wanted to share their relationship stories gone wrong, we discovered that there are a few fundamental reasons for why men stay with the wrong woman. Most of the men reported that they felt a sense of honor, duty or obligation to do so. They did not want to hurt the woman or disappoint her family or friends.



Guys are just as tuned in to those relationship warning signs, or what we call “red flags,” as women are. These red flags offer clues about a partner’s character. Red flags are different for everyone, but they can be defined as any troubling actions, attitudes or behaviors. The vulnerability issue addressed in the book lies in the fact that most of these red flags go ignored. We spoke to one man who was dating a woman who had a drug and alcohol problem. He was initially attracted to her “life-of-the-party” type of personality, but this soon progressed into her passing out every night. Deep down, he was disgusted and extremely disappointed in her — but he also felt like she really needed him and that somehow he could rescue her from her own demons. Ultimately, she began stealing money from him and was bringing her drug dealers into his home. When all was said and done, he had invested over two years in the relationship and eventually ended all contact with her. He thought she needed a knight in shining armor and he took on that role with ease. Unfortunately, she knocked him off of his horse, stole it and left him to figure out how to get home!

Read more at yahoo.match.com
 
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