Could it Be that Cuffin' Season is Near?

Life can get pretty rough sometimes, especially in cold weather environments and especially if we are not in a relationship. It is the roughness that leads us to be open to most romantic overtures or any overture. We feel as if we need a hug all of the time.

Sometimes the relationship we open ourselves up to is unhealthy, meaning one or both parties are making a misery of the relationship.

Who wants to be miserable? You do. You want that misery in your life because it prevents you from having to do the things you know you have to do to bring a healthy relationship into existence.

Why do you want to be miserable? It is cold out and we are lazy—which is a combination strong enough to stop a train—let alone a self-improvement campaign.

Granted, some of us are always on a campaign of some type so those people feel as if they are on an upswing and may attract similar partners. Those of us circling the drain feel a different way. Some feel any type of coupling is better than no coupling at all but that thought process is not true nor is it healthy and we know it.

Why do we feel this way? Researchers say it is because many single people feel having anyone by his or her side is better than having no one.

A two-year old study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology on the issue says, "fear of being single predicts settling for less in romantic relationships."

Since I did not have access to the entire study, I wonder if it is that single people do not want to be perceived as being alone or is it that they are truly lonely and craving someone to love. Loneliness should not be the basis for forming mature relationships but it often is the reason because we are human and are wired to respond to our own emotional needs.

Then again, some people simply do not like being out of a couple and are always in pursuit of a partner even when they are in a relationship. Some people call this mindset The Upgrade.

Still, others want to fulfill humankind's earthly social contract and hopefully, make their relationship official by becoming married. These people often have The Checklist.

There are those who are in earnest looking for their soul mate but will settle for less as long as the relationship is not made out to be too miserable. These relationships can be long-term but temporary. See, you are just The Placeholder for the one yet-to-come and you are not even the prototype. Yes, you have spent five or more years with a person who you thought took the relationship seriously. Instead, it was to them, a five (or more years) booty call.

However, some of us crave solitude and peace of mind over a sorry, one-sided relationship. Even so, no one wants to be totally alone with no prospects—that is a really bad position in which to find oneself.

I have no proof of my theory but I think each cold-weather season helps those who want to be in a relationship, look specifically for someone in which to hibernate and weather the winter storms.

However, as springtime rounds the corner, these people tend to migrate away from their partners. These people also skate out on holidays like Christmas, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day by starting arguments or making excuse after excuse, creating a basis for being away from their wintertime partner.

This is a silly way to live. If you need a place to stay or are couch surfing or just want sex, say so. Don't pretend to want a mature, serious relationship when you are only looking for a situation that will suit your needs alone. Better yet, we should all beware of these people and avoid them. (Unless you have some crazy, sexual attraction to one of them. You cannot be helped in this case.)

So if you don't mind these people imposing on you and wasting your time go ahead and leap without looking each season the leaves begin to turn and fall. Remember, you are not in a committed relationship (even if you marry) and your partner will have sex with other people and lie about it. Some of us like drama and some of us do not. We are all different.